The Consuming Darkness
by The Mind Of The Dragon
Summary: *Complete* He thought that being tied to a tree in the darkness, was bad enough, but there was worse to come...
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N Due to a friend wanting to read the sequel to this, I decided that you could not have one without the other. Therefore I am re-uploading this story, and editing the chapters while I go. So Ferryman? This one is for you! **_

_**Please comment if you wish!  
**_

_***I neither own nor want to own the characters in this story, they all belong to MGM and the Stargate Franchise. I merely torture and play with them..........***_

..............

**Chapter 1.  
**

Darkness had fallen so quickly and completely that it was impossible for him to make out his surroundings any longer. He had no idea how long he had been here, but the ache in his shoulders and arms combined with the numbness in his legs told him it had been too long.

He was tied to the base of a tree stump, on his knees with his hands bound behind his back. The rough wood was ragged against his tender skin, his knees sore from the constant pressure of his weight and he could do nothing to alleviate his discomfort.  
Coldness had seeped into his body from the chill air, making him tremble and shake in the freezing night. He could no longer even feel the pain from his chaffed and bleeding wrists, he had given up trying to free himself long before. His body screamed in constant agony against the position it was forced to be in, every nerve burning for some relief.  
The combination of the complete darkness and strange silence kept his mind on such an edge as to constantly drain his energy. Energy he knew he could not afford to waste.

His head turned sharply to the left as a noise broke the silence. Though he could see nothing in the blackness, his eyes still blindly darted around in search of the origin of the noise. Too scared to call out, he tried to stop the shaking that the cold had started, forcing himself to keep still and quiet so as not to attract attention to his vulnerable self.

Something grunted beside him, hot fetid breath on his face causing him to squeeze his eyes shut in terror, breath catching in his throat.

A small whimper escaped his lips and he mentally shouted at himself to keep quiet. He tried to shy away from the creature but the binds held him fast. The beast shuffled around in front of him, sniffing and pawing at his leg before moving on.  
McKay slumped against his bindings, relief washing over his pain wracked body.

He thought about the others. Teyla and Ronon were tied liked him, far enough apart from each other that they would have to shout to communicate. But he would not be shouting, not in this darkness with god knows what roaming around.

And Sheppard. Where was he? In the daylight he could just make out the others far in the distance, but Sheppard was not there.  
He could not remember anything before waking tied to the stump. He had no recollection of any ambush or of any fight, only the memory of landing the Jumper, getting to this clearing and waking tied to the tree stump.

McKay's head dropped in exhaustion. He hung there in the darkness, his mind forever alert in fear. This was torture.

A shrill scream rang out, making him raise his head again quickly. Teyla? Another scream tore through the night, freezing his heart.

"TEYLA!" he shouted into the night. Nothing. There was no reply and no other sound met his ears. Panic once again rose within him, making his ears strain, his eyes bulge in an attempt to see something, anything.

His heart hammered in his chest as if it were trying to break free of his rib cage. The silence was deafening, suffocating almost. He could feel it bearing down on him like a heavy lead blanket. His breath came in quick short rasps and he thought he could see lights, until he realised he was hyperventilating. He tried to slow his frantic breathing and his thundering heart, tried to calm himself... but that's not easy to do when one is faced with whatever was lurking around in the darkness and a wild imagination generating images of what it could be.

Shuffling noises invaded his ears again, coming once more from his left. Again he struggled against his bindings, grunting at the pain it caused him, wide eyes searching for the monster that made its way towards him, but the darkness still prevailed.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God..." he muttered through gritted teeth as his panic gave way to complete and mindless terror. A pitiful cry of fear forced its way out of his tight mouth and he struggled harder. He muttered incoherently, now no longer mindful to keep quiet as his mind sought only escape. Spittle sprayed from his mouth as he grunted in his struggle, unable to brush the annoying feeling from his chin.

Had the rope slackened? He kept at it, pulling and fumbling, scratching and bruising his skin, the faint hope of release giving him something to work with.

A grunt in his ear and hot, heavy breath brought him back to stillness. He could smell the breath of the animal, he even thought he could detect the metallic tang of blood from its foulness. It poked around his head with its massive nose, sniffing and growling, rattling what wits he had left. A rough and hot tongue licked down the side of his head, teeth brushing gently against his skin as the head pulled slowly away from his face.  
In his mind he could see the beast, see it licking its lips and opening its great maw for the attack that he was sure was coming.

If the darkness had not already been there, he would have noticed it around the edges of his vision as his mind shut down to protect itself.  
McKay slumped forward on his restraints once more, oblivious to his doleful surroundings as his mind slept.

He did not hear the scream that pulled the beast away from him, nor did he catch the sound of its feet thudding away as it ran into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N Thanks for viewing the story, and commenting! I love comments, please leave more! Heh heh! And now back, to poor McKay...._

* * *

**Chapter Two.**

It was the startling daylight from the twin suns bleaching through his burnt eyelids that finally woke him. His body screamed in protest as he tried to straighten himself, making him grunt in pain with every movement. He slowly opened his eyes to the brightness and saw that he was still alone. He could see Ronon and Teyla far in the distance, but could not tell if they were unharmed or even awake. Lifting his head back, his neck cracked painfully with the motion. His hands and feet were numb, and he was almost sure that he had dislocated a shoulder.

He heard someone approaching and was relieved to see Sheppard limping towards him.

"Sheppard! What the..."

"Rodney, where did we leave the jumper?" Sheppard asked hurriedly.

"What?" he asked in confusion, eyeing the blood on John's shirt. "Untie me!"

"Rodney! Where is the jumper?"

"You know damn well where the jumper is!" McKay cried. "What is it? Untie me!"

"I can't remember where I left it. I must have gotten hit on the head." John looked around the landscape, fidgety and nervous.

"So get me out of here and I will take you!"

"DAMN IT! Rodney, TELL me where it is!"

Something in the colonel's voice stopped McKay from saying any more. He stared at him, noticing the darkness in his strangely vacant eyes. His body seemed unable to stay still as he paced about, throwing his arms in threatening gestures.

"Tell me where the damn jumper is!" John forced through clenched teeth.

McKay shook his head, instantly regretting the action as Sheppard threw a punch that rocked the brain inside his skull. His head snapped to the side, causing more pressure on his already aching joints. He tasted the blood dripping from his mouth, his tongue licking it from his lips. Lifting his head back up, he saw that Sheppard was pacing once again.

"Sheppard? What the hell is going on?"

John ignored him. He paced and wrung his hands, then seemed to pause in confusion.

"Rodney?" Sheppard said in a voice that seemed more like his own. His face was filled with confusion, he clearly had no idea where he was or what had happened.

"Sheppard, get me out of here! Let me help you!"

A cloud seemed to descend over John's face, his eyes becoming wild and angry. He turned and smacked McKay's face so hard the scientist thought his teeth would explode from his mouth.

"If you don't tell me where that jumper is, I am gonna go and start on Teyla."

Rodney's eyes went huge with shock. Not only was his friend attacking him, but he knew he could not tell where the Jumper was and that meant that Teyla would be hurt as well.

"No! You can't!"

Sheppard's fist landed squarely on McKay's upturned face. Bone crunched as the man's nose was broken, sending a sharp blinding pain through his head. Not happy with the result, the officer hit McKay again, sending him back to unconsciousness.

"So be it," he muttered, and with that, he walked away, leaving McKay hanging limp in the bleaching heat of the suns.

---

McKay's groggy mind was brought speeding back to reality with the agonizing pain in his face. He spat clotted blood from his mouth, grimacing at the pain.

He remembered what John had said and frantically searched for Teyla in the distance. The twin suns were setting and the light diminishing, making it hard to see very far. He could almost make out the shape of Teyla, thought he saw her move. Thank God.

He strained to look up at the darkening sky, fear prickling at his senses. Not another night, he silently pleaded.

A breeze had picked up, washing a welcomed coolness over his fevered, sun-burnt skin. His mouth was terribly dry and his stomach churned with hunger. He thought about the energy bar in his pocket, making his mouth water for something he could never reach. How long could he last here? His rapidly declining blood sugar would take him for sure, but maybe not before either Sheppard or the night beasts took him first.

A scream pierced the air and he realized it was not a human that made the noise. It was like a wild cry of nature, like wolves howling in their pack. The night beasts.

As the darkness fell more quickly, he watched the horizon, believing he could see the animals bounding towards him. His fear triggered nausea, a heaving in his stomach bringing bile spewing from his mouth. The bitter taste left him thirstier than he had been before.

Darkness was complete.

The twin suns had set leaving a gaping black hole for him to look at in their absence, a blackness that conjured frightening images in his mind. He thought he could almost see the animals, teeth bared and eyes wild, slinking towards him. Although he had not actually seen the beasts, his imagination did a good job of creating a horrific picture of them, complete with gaping jaws full of razor-sharp teeth.

Silence. It was the silence and darkness combined that truly terrified him.

Trying to ease his terror, Rodney thought about his earlier encounter with Sheppard. What the hell had been going on there? The question brought a memory flashing back to him: The jumper bursting from the Stargate in orbit above this planet before landing near a clearing. Walking out of the jumper onto a bright field of long grass swaying in the wind. The bright blue sky with its beautiful, strong twin suns. He had worried about his complexion at the time. It seemed so stupid now.

The memory was gone, leaving him wondering how he had got from there to here. Feet padding along the ground scattered his thoughts. A mewling sound next to his right ear made him jump. Whatever the creature was, it was back, sniffing him again and pawing at his leg once more. He sat as still as he could, hoping it would go away, sure it would not. It was sniffing around his face, licking at his mouth and nose, sending sharp jolts of pain through his head.

The blood! Oh my GOD! The BLOOD!

Rodney could almost see it in his mind—the animal getting the taste of him and wanting more. He could see it pulling and gnawing at his body as he writhed and screamed in the darkness. The images in his head sparked a panic that consumed his being, uncontrollable shivers shaking his body.

Footsteps. Someone running towards him.

The beast ran off, screaming as it left, sending a chill down McKay's spine. In his mind, it sounded as if it had said it would return later.

Silence. He had been so sure that he had heard someone running. Fear heightened his senses as he strained to hear anything in the stillness but there was nothing.

McKay swayed on his restraints as he fought to stay awake, exhaustion permeating his body more than it ever had before. He leaned his body back against the stump he was tied to, his aching muscles crying out at the change of position. He thought he saw something coming towards him. In this darkness? But yes, there was something, someone walking towards him.

"Rodney?"

"Hey, McKay?"

He could not believe it! Teyla and Ronon were in front of him! They knelt down next to him, smiling.

"How did you escape?" Rodney demanded. "I have been trying, but couldn't! Untie me!"

But neither of them of them moved. They just smiled at him.

"Are you comfortable?"

His eyes flashed open and his stomach turned as he realized it had all been a figment of his imagination. Shaking his head in frustration, he almost wept.

"I said, are you comfortable?" the voice asked again.

He had thought that had come from his imagination too, but it was real, and the thought of that made him quake.

John Sheppard was somewhere in the darkness.

"You know, McKay, it would be so much less painful, if you just helped me out," the air force pilot informed him.

What direction was the voice coming from? McKay turned his head, frantically searching in the inky blackness, hearing a sudden movement behind him. His head cracked to the side from the impact of John's fist, exploding light bursting in his mind.

As he tried to shake the dizzying feeling from his head, he was hit with a kick so hard it sent the air rushing from his lungs. His breath came back in quick, short rasps as he sucked in air through clenched teeth.

"Are you gonna tell me where the jumper is?" the voice so close to his ear, it made him jump in fright.

Cringing, he waited for the next assault.

It never came.

---

He was shaking and trembling, breathing painfully fast. His body was on fire, almost every nerve burning with pain. It took him a while to calm down and realize that Sheppard had gone, leaving him alone once more in the darkness.

He felt as though he may go truly insane. He was a captive here in this hot and awful planet, being beaten by his best friend who seemed intent on continuing his torture. What had he done to deserve this?

What would happen when John came back? He was not going to tell him where the Jumper was, no way, all their lives depended on that ship. But he was not sure just how much beatings he could take.

He had taken more pain than he thought was possible to take, more than he had ever had to endure in the past. He knew it was only a matter of time before his body gave out whether he held strong or not.

But what would happen if John found the Jumper on his own? Left them all tied here to die in the heat and at the mercy of the native wildlife?

Oh God, I can not die here! I can't be here another night! I can't take another beating! I...I....

He took a deep breath and screamed into that darkness, long and loud, pouring all of his frustration, pain and all-consuming terror into the heart-wrenching noise. He did not care if the noise attracted something or someone, he could not help it. His breath ran out and the scream became a whimper. He leaned back on the stump and raised his eyes to the dark sky.

He began muttering to himself, asking for freedom, praying for light and merciful release. His prayers unanswered, he fell into a fitful sleep full of nightmares and torture.

_Might post another chapter tomorrow, if I get the chance to read it through in time. Please comment, so I know if it is even worth finishing the sequel!!  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_WOW! All these comments are making me want to get this story back up quicker! Thank you! I will try and get back to you all! _

**Chapter 3**

Rodney did not wake up until the suns were high in the sky. He guessed he had slept for half of this planet's day and wondered how badly his skin must be burnt by now. He was scared to move, knowing that the moment he did his body would scream at him for doing so. He slowly raised his head and gasped in shock to see Teyla tied a few yards in front of him. Her head hanging low, it was difficult to see what kind of shape she was in. He tried to call her name, finding his throat so dry that nothing more than a wheeze escaped his lips.

She moaned and raised her head, her eyes opening wide upon seeing Rodney staring back. He half expected her to disappear as before, but she looked so drawn and ill that she must be real.

"Rodney? Are you OK?" she managed to say through swollen, cracked lips.

He simply nodded his head, still waiting for her to disappear.

"Did Ronon do that to you?" she asked, looking at his badly bruised and bloodied face.

It struck him what she meant, his mind faltering on the fact that Ronon had been the one to attack her.

"Ronon?" he asked dumbly. Looking at the landscape, he searched for Ronon's shape where it had been the day before. It was still there, still tethered to the place he had seen him.

His confused mind clicked with a sudden realization. Teyla was also still tethered to her pole in the distance.

He brought his head back so quickly it hurt, but the pain was nothing compared to the jarring shock of seeing John Sheppard kneeling before him.

"Seeing things?" John sneered.

When McKay did not answer, John continued.

"It does that to you. This planet. Makes you see things that aren't really there."

McKay, staring at John, pondered a thought.

"Oh, no, Rodney. I AM really here." John replied as if he had read McKay's mind. To reinforce the fact, John slapped McKay's face, then stood up. "If you tell me where the Jumper is, this will all be over," he said, raising his hands to the suns and back down, fixing McKay with an intense glare.

McKay just stared at Sheppard with neither hatred nor fear on his face, just a resignation to what he knew was coming. He did not wait long.

Sheppard grabbed him by the shoulders, raising him from the ground just enough to pull at all the sore muscles and aching joints in Rodney's poor body. The binds on his hands and feet pulled tight against his chaffed, broken skin and a bitter cry of agony burst from McKay as tears fell from his eyes.

John dropped him back to the ground with a thud, laughing.

"You know, I can sense that John Sheppard is impressed with how you are holding out. I take it you would normally have given in by now?"

McKay just hung there, motionless, listening.

"He thinks that you won't last much longer, worries that I will get the location of the Jumper real soon. Is he right, Rodney McKay?"

McKay remained still, silent.

John got down and sat cross-legged in front of him, his hand playing with dirt at his feet.

"When I crash landed on this planet, I never thought I would ever leave. I woke in the shattered remains of my ship and I knew I would die here. No escape, no hope of rescue. Everyone ignores this planet because it is empty and barren, except for the damn Dust Dogs." He saw McKay tense at the mention of the Dust Dogs. "Ah, so you ARE awake! I thought so."

McKay shuddered and looked slowly up, grimacing at the ongoing fire in his muscles.

"Don't look at me like that, Rodney! It makes me want to hit you again." The anger disappeared from Rodney's face, replaced with a small look of fear. "So what is it to be, hmm? Another beating? No. Another night," John taunted, shaking his head and smiling. "I think, actually, that I might try something a little different." He pulled a small knife from a sheath tied to his leg. "I know how much you like those Dust Dogs. Perhaps we should give them a reason to like you too?"

Rodney eyed the knife, a curious and pleading look on his face.

"Sheppard…you…you can't!" he whimpered.

"Oh, Rodney. You know I am not Sheppard!" John said, leaning closer to McKay. "Now, tell me. Where is the ship?"

"I…I…please…don't! I…" McKay knew that if he told, they would all be stranded here to die. But faced with that knife gleaming in the suns' light, he felt the resolve in his mind diminishing.

John made forward with the knife, sweeping it back and forth, watching with sadistic glee as McKay's wide, frightened eyes followed its every movement.

He did not even feel the first cut, so surprised, he did not notice the second one either. When the pain from the wounds finally filtered through his frightened mind, he cried out.

"Shhh," John said, "you don't want to attract those dogs, now, do you?" With a cold smirk, he stood and walked away, leaving McKay in his misery.

Rodney watched Sheppard leave, sauntering as if he was just walking to the mess hall, not leaving his friend hurt and bleeding.

Bleeding.

He remembered with a sudden intake of breath that his arms were bleeding. He tried to look and see how bad Shepard had cut him, but all the movement did was remind him of the state his body was in. A sharp painful tug in his neck pulled his head straight again, and he stared at the heat haze that made him ever thirsty. Before his head had come up, he had seen droplets of blood on the ground, bright red against the light sandy earth. Panic threatened to overtake him again and he struggled to control his breathing, sweat running down his brow irritated his skin like a fly walking on his face.  
He finally started to calm a little, telling himself it was not a big amount of blood and that he would survive a small loss. Telling himself that someone from Atlantis would already be on their way to search for them. He told himself that John Sheppard would never kill him, his friend could never kill him.

But in his ever confused and broken mind, Rodney began to believe that Sheppard would indeed kill him if he wanted to. He began to believe that John Sheppard was doing something that he had wanted to do to Rodney for a very long time. That perhaps he had irritated him so much in the last couple of years, that the Colonel would be enjoying what he was inflicting.

He was going to die here he realised. He was going to die here, humiliated and beaten, broken in body and mind. He hung his head and cried. Bitter tears rolled down his burnt cheeks, dripping off his chin and fell to the ground, drying quickly on the parched earth.

Time passed and darkness fell once more as he hung there, alert for any sound in the surrounding night. His mind was spinning, the fear of the Dust Dogs and what they would do to him making his skin crawl.

His mind flashed with an image, something from the time they landed. They had walked to the open plain where he was now tethered. A barren wasteland, seemingly absent of life. They had walked for a while before deciding that the planet was not worth exploring more. As they turned to leave, Sheppard had pulled his stunner and fired on Ronon, then Teyla. McKay had watched in shock as they slumped to the ground. As he turned to look at John, his body shuddered from the blast of the stunner. Then he woke up, tied to the tree, alone.

A sound in the distance brought his mind sharply back to reality. One of the Dust Dogs padded towards him, sniffing the air as it walked.

It can smell it! The blood!!

Panting in terror, he tried once more to escape his bindings, pulling hard and struggling as the rope bit into his bleeding skin.

As the beast got closer, his mind became frantic with fear, little grunts and cries forcing through his gritted teeth. Then, he once again fell into merciful blackness, his body slumping forward on the restraints, unconscious once more.

***

_A/N Hope to get chapter four up before the end of the day. Comments welcomed! _


	4. Chapter 4

_Phew! Said I would get this up before the day ends! Pretty close, but here it is! Thank you to all for the comments, they make my work more enjoyable!_

**Chapter 4**

He pushed his hands on the ground, groaning as he tried to stand. A crack sounded in his shoulder and he grunted at the sudden pain. No problem, he could deal with that. He had dealt with worse. He staggered around in the darkness, no idea where to go. He coughed and called out to the void.

"Teyla?" He heard no reply so continued forward, wandering aimlessly in the darkness while wincing as his body got used to moving again, muscles protesting as they worked for the first time in days.

"Teyla?" he called again.

"Here! Over here!" she cried out, relieved to hear him so close.

He almost fell over her in the dark, just managing to prevent himself from landing on top of her.

"How did you get free?" she asked hoarsely.

"Wrestled with the rope until it came loose," he answered gruffly. She smiled, knowing that Ronon was understating the feat.

He helped her stand up, holding onto her while her legs got feeling back. Cramp in her legs made her sway but he held her tight.

The twin suns were already beginning to rise and they were able to see each others' outline. Both looked as if they had just crawled out of a grave. Their faces drawn and gaunt, their eyes droopy and red. Dust covered them completely, irritating and scratching, their skin burned with raw pain.

"We have to get to McKay," Ronon said, remembering hearing Rodney screaming the night before.

"I only hope we are not too late," Teyla replied, a similar memory running through her mind. A scream stopped them in their tracks. Listening intently, they could hear growls in the distance, then another scream.

"Was that human?" Teyla asked, gripping Ronon's shoulder for support. He merely grunted and began moving again. They heard another scream and stepped up the pace.

"We better get to him quick."

They traveled as fast as their cramped muscles would allow in the direction of the noise, hoping that they would only reach a pack of wandering animals.

---

Sunlight burst over the horizon. This was going to be an exceptionally hot day, the heat was already fierce and the suns were only just rising.

His head was pounding and the sweat was already pouring down his face and neck, making him uncomfortable as he tried to open his eyes.

"I'm still alive?" he asked himself with complete disbelief. The Dust Dogs had not attacked him, though, he remembered images of them sniffing and pawing him through the night.

He was starting to fail, he could feel the weakness in his body, the numbness in his head. It would not be long before he dropped into a hypoglycemic coma.

It occurred to him that he should be dead already. He had not eaten in days, yet was still here, barely. His foggy mind realised that the days on this planet were shorter, maybe a lot shorter. Either that or the massive meal he had before he left Atlantis had been so full of sugar that it had sustained him this far.

His ears picked up a sound, and he smiled in a drunken like stupor. He was almost about to laugh when it hit him. Someone was coming towards him—he could hear their footsteps pounding on the dry, dusty ground.

_I can't take this anymore. I can't!_

As the sound approached, McKay hung his head lower, sure that this would be his last interaction with John Sheppard. His body trembled as he braced himself for what could be his final moments.

"McKay?"

He pulled his body as far as he could away from the voice, fearing the pain that was sure to follow.

"Please! Please…no! I…I…"

"McKay!" The female voice stopped his mindless pleading. A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched, his eyes closed tight. "McKay, what has he done to you?"

He opened his eyes and looked upon the disheveled forms of Teyla and Ronon looking down on his battered and bruised body. He blinked uncomprehendingly, not really sure that what he was seeing was real. His brain had played so many tricks on him, he did not want to believe this in case it was another lie, but the hand on his shoulder held firm and he really wanted to believe.

A small cool hand was placed on his burning cheek and his body began to shake violently.

_They are real! They are really here!!_

Ronon was behind him, loosening the ropes on his hands and feet. Unbalanced and weak, Rodney fell forward to the right, hitting the ground with a moan. Teyla knelt beside him, looking with horror at the broken and wounded man before her. She tore some rags from her sleeve and bound the wounds on his arm, wincing when he cried out.

"I didn't think I would get out of this," he gasped as Ronon helped him to a painful sitting position. His mind fogged and he almost passed out, feeling the strong hand on his shoulder pulling him straight again.

"Why did Sheppard do this to you?" Ronon asked, holding him steady.

"He…he said I am the weakest," Rodney answered, keeping his eyes low. "The one most likely to tell him what he wants. What did he do to you guys?" he returned, ferreting about in his pocket for his energy bar, his shaking hands making it hard to get at it.

They looked at each other, neither wanting to be the first to say it.

"Nothing," Teyla said quietly. "He tied us up, and made us listen to the results of his actions."

A quietness fell as McKay chewed hungrily on his retrieved power bar, ignoring the way it scraped his parched throat as he swallowed. Fleeting images of his friend beating him. Images of John's face, warped into an evil mask, staring at him, shouting at him.

"We should find cover. He'll be back soon," Ronon said, getting to his feet, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Think you can walk?" he asked, noting that the weakened and injured McKay could hardly even sit straight never mind walk.

"I'll have to. I am not going to be here when ...he comes back," he replied, finishing the last of his meagre meal.

Ronon found their weapons thrown a short distance from where Rodney had been tied. He gathered them up, handing each in turn to their rightful owners. Then he helped Teyla get Rodney to his feet, pained at the noises that the man made as his body straightened for the first time in days. Dizziness almost made him slump back to the ground, but they held him firm and upright, helping him through the pain and discomfort.

Rodney's head rolled back as they began to walk, his feet dragging at times, making him stumble, thus slowing their progress.

They took refuge within a small grove of wind stunted trees. From there they could see the tree stump that Rodney had been tied to, and they watched for Sheppard's approach.

Teyla worried for McKay. She could see that although he'd been rescued, his pain and injuries had weakened him immensely. She helped him lay flat when it was obvious he could not do so unaided. Within minutes he had fallen into a deep sleep—a sleep that his mind had ached for.

They let him rest. It was all they could do for him now.

---

The suns rose higher into the sky as the day moved on, the heat becoming unbearable. Rodney murmured fitfully in his sleep, muttering words of pain and fear.

"Please…please don't," he whispered. "No…John!"

Ronon looked stonily across the clearing, anger filling his mind as he listened to his friend suffer through his nightmares. If he found who had caused this, he would kill them. He knew in his heart that Sheppard would never do this to them, could never do this to McKay. He would hunt whoever was responsible and make them pay in blood.

Teyla cast worried glances every time Rodney made a noise. She could see him shrinking before her eyes. The once pompous and yet lovable egomaniac was laid there like a small child in a strange darkened room, crying to his fears. It hurt to see Rodney in such a state, angered her that anyone would make this man the trembling wreck she saw before her. She knew that Rodney McKay was at heart a strong man. He presented as a coward, hell, he even whined like a child, but in the end his courage shined through. The fact that this...this..._thing _had chosen to use Rodney out of all of them to try and escape this planet, made her sick to the core. As she turned from Rodney she saw a figure beyond the treeline. Sheppard walked leisurely across the plain from the direction of a heavily wooded area far in the east.

"It's Colonel Sheppard," she pointed.

At the words, McKay woke, a look of sheer terror on his poor face as he tried to get his sore body to move.

"All will be well, Rodney," the Athosian soothed, placing a calming hand on his arm.

The three watched as Sheppard broke into a run, quickly heading for the deserted tree stump. A roar of anger erupted from him when he reached the stump, staring into the distance to find the other stumps also lacking in captives. He looked around and roared at the empty surroundings, making McKay flatten to the ground.

Sheppard then turned and jogged back to where he had come from.

"He said he had crashed here, that he had been alone," McKay said to no one in particular. "He wants to get off this planet, and will kill us to do it."

"It will never leave this planet." Ronon angrily declared.

TBC

*****

_A/N Well, that's as far as I have edited folks! Going to have to edit the rest tomorrow! Keep the comments coming, I am enjoying them immensely! _


	5. Chapter 5

_Gee! Thanks to everyone for the comments! Here is chapter 5, and going to go work on chapter 6!_

_

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 5**

As he walked back to the crash site, she loosened her grip on his mind as she often did when she returned him here.

When she let go of his mind, the images left were that of his friend's bruised and terrified face, upturned and pleading, bleeding by his own hands.

He limped to a large rock next to her ship and sat down. His body ached with exertion, cuts and bruises covered his hands and knuckles from constantly hitting and punching. His clothes were soaked in sweat, fluid that his body so badly needed. He shuddered when he saw blood on there too.

He could remember everything that she had made him do. He did not sleep under her control, but watched as if through a window as his body went through her motions. He remembered everything she made him say and every blow he dealt to McKay.

Holding them up in front of him, he stared at his hands. When they shook, he placed them over his face as he slid off the rock onto the ground. He sat with his back against the stone, his knees bent up in front of him. His head hung low between his arms as they rested on his knees. He closed his eyes in fatigue but opened them quickly when his mind was filled with the image of the knife cutting into McKay's skin.

_Oh my God! I did that!_

Anger coursed through him, an anger so fierce it made him jump to his feet despite his aching, tired body. He did not know how many times he had attempted this, nor how many times she had punished him for it, but this time he got closer than any other time.

_She must be weak._

He managed to get to the cockpit of the crashed ship—he could see her body lying there in stasis.

She was tall, as thin as a wraith and white as snow. Her hair was long, thin tube-like fibres that flowed from her head like appendages. She was almost beautiful lying there, like an ice Princess in her frozen cavern.

He lifted a fist to strike her, failing to realize that a force field protected her. Fiery pain exploded through his body as his fist connected with the invisible barrier. She seized control again, his body contorting as she screamed in his mind, punishing him for his attempt on her life.

"I will not die on this planet! And I will not die by your hands!" she screeched at him.

He fell to his knees, crying out for relief before he passed out.

---

When he came to, he could feel her in his mind.

"Who are you?" he croaked as he turned onto his side in an attempt to get up.

She did not answer, though he could feel her stirring in his head.

"If you are gonna live in my head, we need to get to know each other," he said, lacing his voice with sarcasm.

"You don't need to know me."

He shook his head, sat up and looked at the smashed ship.

"What happened?"

"Trying to escape from my planet, the ship crashed because it was too old and uncared for."

"Should've picked a different one." He thought he felt her amusement. He felt a strange feeling inside his skull, like an itch that he could not scratch. She began to play images in his head, he could see her flying in the ship…

---

_Something was wrong. The engines needed an overhaul, but she could not stop anywhere long enough to allow it. Being on the run had not been her choice, but after being found to have betrayed her people to the Wraith, she had to flee._

_Taking the only working ship available at the site, she had stolen as many supplies as she could and had taken to the stars._

_She did not know where she was going, she had had no plan, only the desire to live._

_She had jumped from Ring to Ring, putting as much distance between her planet, its neighbours and her betrayal as she could._

_When she came through the Ring orbiting this planet, the console in front of her suddenly began to squeal. The engines were overheating, threatening to shut down. In the distance was a planet that she had often traded with and she hoped to nurse the ship there. She was renowned there, known as a ruthless trader and brutal adversary. People called her the White Death, as she killed anyone who stood in her way. She knew no one would take her in, but she needed to get there anyway._

_As she attempted make her way there, something blew in the rear of the ship._

_Damn it!_

_Deciding to take the ship down onto the planet and fix it there, she aimed for the barren planet's surface, but entering the atmosphere had proven too much for the old ship. The superstructure groaned and creaked as one of the ion engines was torn free from its housing._

_Spinning uncontrollably, the ship tumbled erratically from the sky, plummeting to the ground._

_She had woken some hours later, lying in the cockpit of the shattered ship. Lucky to be alive, she was broken and in great pain. Her legs were trapped under the main console with no way of getting out. She knew she would not survive unless she hooked up to the ship. Like most of the space-worthy craft on her planet, this ship was adapted for long-haul space flight and included a stasis mechanism that would effectively take control of her body. She hoped the mechanism still worked._

_Taking a deep breath, she waited. Metallic grinding filled the cockpit, wires and tubes began to rise up from behind the seat. It was not a nice thing to go through, and was only used as a last resort._

_The tubes and wires connected to her body, in essence taking over her body's nutritional and waste disposal functions. Her body bucked and shook at the intrusions. She endured only because she knew it would save her life._

_You would think, she thought, that we could come up with a better system by now._

_The last thing to activate was the protective shielding that would encase her body. Then silence._

_Quiet and still, she realized that something was wrong. She was awake. Just her luck being stuck in stasis, on a deserted planet, and awake for eternity. Well, until the ship systems go down when the power runs out._

_She did not know how long she had been there, frozen body and sound mind, when she sensed them. New people on the planet, close enough to link with! She could not read minds, but, as with all her species, she could control other bodies as well as jump her mind into them._

_They were getting too close to her ship, they would find her soon and she did not know if they were hostile or not. So she took control of the first one and gave the command to return to their ship, then stunned the others when their backs were turned._

_It is easy enough to get the information you need without actually having the talent of mind reading. When in control of another person's body, you need only inflict pain on them. It works like a charm. It does not take long for the subject to loosen their tongue and tell all._

_The only problem is the torturer feels the same pain as the victim, an unlucky side effect of transferring your mind into another's body._

_What is your name? His name is John Sheppard._

_Who are the others? Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan, and Ronon Dex._

_Where is the ship? He does not answer._

_She pushes and pushes but he will not give her the answer. Her pain now equals his, in her weakened state she can not take much more herself, so she tries a different approach._

_She pushes a little further. Who is more likely to break?_

_He fights hard at this question, taking more pain than he thought he could. Blood runs from his nostrils and mouth, his tongue bitten in the snap of his jaw. She pushes almost to his limits, almost to HER limits. She was just about to give up when the name fell from his grimaced mouth._

_Rodney McKay._

---

John was quiet, taking in the images that flowed through his mind. His mouth was dry at the final images, the memory just as painful as the first time he had given his friend's name to her.

"What, you expect sympathy? From me?" he said bitterly.

"I expect to get off of this planet, no more."

"You will never get off this planet. Not after what you have done, what you made me do. I will make damn sure of it."

He felt her startle, and the now familiar feeling of her taking control. It felt not unlike falling into a daydream, fuzzy and uncontrollable. She took full control of him, sensing the escaped prisoners approaching a short way off. She felt him trying to fight off her mental grip, and suppressed him further.

_I will not die on this planet!_

John Sheppard picked up his P90, and made his way into the forest and towards the oncoming people.

TBC!


	6. Chapter 6

_This is nearing the end guys! One more chapter and this part of the tale is done! I am glad so many of you are enjoying it! Please comment and let me know what you think!_

* * *

**Chapter 6**

McKay was feeling a little stronger and followed Ronon and Teyla as they made their way quietly through the dense foliage, his eyes wide open, scanning the surroundings for movement. They kept themselves hidden as they followed along the direction that Sheppard had walked. The day was exceptionally hot, taking a toll on their already dehydrated bodies. Not one of them spoke as they continued through the trees and bushes that made the journey difficult.

Ronon stopped suddenly and the others halted behind him. He stared intently at the grassland stretching out in front of him, his head turning sharply to the right as a blast sounded nearby. McKay yelped and threw his hands over his head. Teyla hit the ground, pulling Rodney down with her.  
Ronon rolled, pulled his blaster and aimed it in the direction of the noise, but he did not shoot. Instead, he twisted one hundred and eighty degrees and fired in almost the opposite direction at a sound behind him.

Sheppard shouted in rage, firing at them before taking off, hoping to lead them away from the downed craft.

Ronon jumped to his feet and ran through the brush, leaving the others sitting on the ground. Teyla and McKay got up and made their way slowly towards the place the gun fire had come from, keeping low to avoid any stray bullets that might head their way.

Nothing moved. No sound was made.

McKay had a hand over his mouth, his wide eyes glued to the bushes in front of him.

Teyla was the first to spot Sheppard, crouched in the grass ahead of them, looking in the opposite direction. She slowly lifted her gun, trying not to make a sound. As she continued to watch Sheppard, all hell broke loose in front of her.

Ronon burst out of the grass to the left of John, crashing his body into him with enough force to send both men flying through the air, landing on the hard, sun-baked ground with a resounding thud. They got to their feet, grappling with each other.  
They wrestled for control, each one dancing a crude and frantic dance while attempting to disarm the other. Teyla helplessly watched the two men fight, her gun useless lest she take the wrong man down.  
Sheppard pushed Ronon away from him, raising his gun. The large Satedan unsteadily ran back a few steps, trying to avoid falling. He turned back to John to see the gun raised and pointed at his head. He grunted, staring at Sheppard with malice in his eyes.

Sneering and squeezing the trigger, John made to fire the gun.

A gunshot resounded across the grassland, quickly followed by a second.

The first bullet tore through his shoulder, ripping through muscle and grazing bone. The second bullet burst through his leg, tearing right into his thigh and straight through an artery. Pain coursed though his body like fire radiating from the bleeding gun shot wounds. The world seemed to blur and tilt as his eyes lost focus.  
John dropped his weapon as he looked at the blood on the hand he had touched to his shoulder. He then looked at the three in front of him, shock on his face, his mouth moving soundlessly. His knees buckled and with a small groan, he fell to the ground.

Teyla reached for McKay's shaking hand, helping him lower the gun he had not even realized he had drawn. She looked him in the eyes, telling him it was alright, noticing the haunted look in those usually soft eyes. He was muttering, staring at John, completely shocked that he had pulled the trigger.

Ronon was already kneeling beside him, tearing open his BDU's and attempting to staunch the blood flow. John was moaning and stuttering incoherently.

"She's gone! She….I don't know! She must be somewhere!"

Ronon worried about John as he applied a tourniquet to the man's leg. Teyla knelt beside him and John whispered to her, she nodded as he started to pass out.

"Sheppard! Sheppard!" Ronon tried to get his attention, slapping his face and willing him to stay awake. John looked at him, pain shadowing his eyes.

"She must be somewhere!" he whispered urgently. "You must find her!"

Something tugged at Ronon's mind, the puzzle that had been confusing him suddenly made sense. The final piece slotted into place and he turned to look at Rodney, who stood there like a frightened child staring at the ground. When he did raise his head he seemed more scared than he had ever been before. Terror etched on his features as sweat beaded on his brow as his hand raised the gun once more.

Rodney was held within his own mind, torturing himself, screaming to get out, watching himself shoot John, killing his friend. He abstractly thought that this must be what John had gone through, why he had done what he did. He screamed silently within the confines of his own head, his senses confused and his mind suppressed. He looked out of his eyes as if looking through a window, unable to move or think.

_She should not have jumped minds, she was too weak, but she was desperate, her plan falling to pieces. She sensed something. Her body was failing, something was wrong. She suddenly realized the woman was not here, she had left while she grabbed control of this mind._

Her shock at missing the woman's disappearance almost made her lose her grip on McKay's mind. He could feel her weakness, could almost break free, but not quite.

"All I wanted was to get off this planet," he heard the words coming from his mouth, his own voice saying words he did not think. He felt his arm curling up beside his head, the gun resting against his temple. Rodney felt the finger resting on the trigger tighten and his mind flew through images of his life in that split second. Heart racing, breathing quickening, mind reeling in the horror that he was about to die by his own hand but not his own volition.

She screamed in his brain, shaking his senses and filling his mind, silencing all other noise. Her anger and fear filled him in those last seconds, shook him to his soul.

A tear ran down his cheek, as she made him pull the trigger.

*click*

---

The ship was just as John said it would be. It appeared so benign to hold such a malignant force inside it.

She sprayed the cockpit with gunfire, bullets bouncing off the stasis field like crazy. One lucky bullet hit something vital and the field went down with a hiss. She took aim at the frail body within, only to discover she was out of bullets.

Throwing the gun aside, she clambered inside the cockpit to the still form, where she began grabbing and pulling wires and cables, trying to kill the connection the alien had with the others. She frantically ripped and pulled as many wires from the still body as she could, hoping to kill the the evil before it could hurt anyone else.

She heard the gunshot coming from where she left the others, her stomach lurched as she thought she was already too late.

The alien suddenly awoke and grabbed for her, holding her arms away from its body. The frailty of the body belied the strength still remaining. The tube like appendages on her head wriggled and writhed, grabbing at Teyla's neck, tightening into a choke hold. The alien opened her mouth and screeched at her, the noise so loud it was disorientating.

She managed to get her hands free. Clawing at the appendages was useless, they were strong and tight around her throat. She grabbed at wires and cables, continuing to tear and snap the connections to the alien's body, hoping to sever vital connections. Her vision blurred and she knew her time was nearing an end.

Her hand connected with a large cable just behind the alien's neck. She pulled on it as hard as she could and watched with satisfaction as the aliens eyes opened wide, as did her mouth, which screamed out her death. As the last traces of oxygen left the alien's body, the appendages slowly loosened their grip and fell from her throat, letting her gulp down air into her starved lungs.

The White Death passed into oblivion, her skin turning charred black in colour.

Teyla jumped down from the cockpit, wiping her hands on her legs in an attempt to rid them of unseen filth. She stumbled and fell, tripping over the discarded gun, hitting the ground with her hand in frustration.

She regained her composure, got back to her feet, and ran back to the others, hoping she had helped in time. As she entered the tree line, she passed a sleeping pack of Dust Dogs, their hoard from the night before lay beside them: large tubers they had dug from under the dry earth. She almost laughed at her fear of the herbivores the night before.

***

As the White Death had screamed in his head, Rodney had failed to see Ronon running towards him. At the very last second he had grabbed his arm and pulled it away from McKay's head, the gun firing uselessly in the air.

He turned and looked at his saviour, his eyes unfocused, his mind numb.

Rodney swayed on his legs, staring at nothing and feeling nothing, before slumping to the ground unconscious.

TBC

_A/N You really think I would Kill McKay? Shame on you! HA! Next and final chapter of this tale should be up soon. _


	7. Chapter 7

_Well, here it is. The final chapter in this part of the story! Thanks to all who commented and drove me on to finish and enjoy editing a story that was first up here about a year ago. If I do write the sequel, please have a look at it! I hope you enjoy the ending!  
_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The team made it back to the ship, and between the two of them, McKay and Sheppard somehow managed to pilot the ship home. Atlantis had never before been such a welcoming sight.

When the doors to the puddle jumper opened, the medical team that Teyla had requested stood in shock and surprise at what they found.  
McKay was ashen and bruised from head to toe, his eyes almost swollen shut. Blood caked his arms and his breathing was so shallow that they thought he had already passed on.  
Sheppard was slumped in the co-pilots chair barely conscious with blood still oozing from both trauma sites. He managed a relieved grin to welcome the medics, then promptly passed out.  
Teyla and Ronon seemed to be the healthiest of the bunch, even though they looked as if they had fought a sand storm and lost.

Dr. Beckett would only allow Teyla and Ronon to leave the infirmary after a night's observation, despite their protests. Once their heads hit the pillows, however, they stopped caring which bed they were in. Rodney and John remained in the infirmary much longer.

The bullets had done some real damage to John, but despite that fact, with pain medication, antibiotics and rest, he would soon heal. That did not make him feel any better, he still felt as if he had taken on a dozen wraith and had an extra long ride on the emotional roller coaster.

McKay was in bad shape. His blood sugar had plummeted to dangerously low levels soon after landing. That combined with the injuries he sustained, coupled with a raging infection to the knife wounds, had caused him to fall very ill. He drifted in and out of consciousness, mumbling fitfully, but mercifully pain free.

John listened to his friend, and hung his head in shame. He did not care that McKay had shot him—he knew it had not really been Rodney that had done it—but he wouldn't have blamed Rodney if it had been him. The memory of what the White Death had made him do to Rodney caused his stomach to churn and he suddenly found he had difficulty breathing.

He leaned forward retching, gasping for breath. A sharp pain from the wound in his shoulder shocked him into calmness. He lay back with a groan and stared at the ceiling, swallowing back down the bile that soured his mouth. Rodney continued to moan in his sleep, and John hated himself. He sometimes still felt the feeling she was still with him, a residual effect of having someone else in your head, Carson believed. He continued to stare at the ceiling until his eyes became heavy and he closed them for relief.

Soon, he stopped hearing Rodney's fitful nightmare, as he passed into his own dreamless sleep.

---

It had been almost three weeks since he had been cleared by Beckett to leave the infirmary and he still wished he were there. At least he had felt safe in there. Dark corridors and silent rooms made him fearful and nervous now. He often found himself nervously wringing his hands while his eyes darted around him, searching for an unseen danger. He was constantly on edge, jumpy and fidgety.  
Panic attacks crept up on him while doing the most mundane things, and often at inopportune times, such as in the middle of giving instructions to a technician.

He was much better now than what he had been when they had returned from the planet. At least now he did not see Sheppard in the dark corners of Atlantis, waiting to pounce on him. The nightmares were lessening also, and he could sleep a couple of hours before waking in a sweat with a shout after seeing Sheppard's menacing face in his dreams.

He had yet to face John Sheppard. He kept away from him when he saw him coming and it seemed that John respected this and stayed out of his way. They had not yet been cleared for duty, so it was easy to find somewhere else to be.

Never before had he feared, loathed maybe, but not feared, anyone on the Atlantis expedition, especially not Sheppard. But he now found himself in a position where he no longer felt he could work with him and he wanted to leave his team, not only for the fact that he was haunted by the pain that John had caused him, but also because of his own guilt of having shot him. He feared John's reaction to being shot by him, remembered the look on John's face as he fell to the ground.

He had already spoken to Weir about a transfer, who had said to give it time. She believed that he would work through the trauma and be able to work with John again when he was ready. She also recommended he speak with Heightmeyer, who he felt did little to alleviate the issue. She continually spoke about post traumatic stress, about how his feelings and what he was experiencing was normal. He eventually stopped attending sessions as he felt it a waste of both his time and hers.

People looked at him with pity in their eyes, it made him feel small and weak. It also reminded him of the state his face was in, black and blue, covered in cuts and scratches.

Everything scared him and everything irritated him. He was sick and tired of feeling like he was in constant danger, ever alert and painfully timorous.  
Loud noises made him flinch, then the looks of apology made him angry. He was angry to feel so ashamed at his reactions. He was angry that people were treating him like a injured child, so pathetic and protective to the point it almost made him mad.

He would find himself in a room, working away quite happily, when a noise would have him diving for the floor or covering his head in alarm. He hated this, he did not want to be so weak.  
When he was not angry, he was scared. Scared of loud noises, fast movements, raised voices, dark areas.

Scared to be alone.

He would be fine for five minutes or so then happen to glance at his arms, suddenly nauseous at the hideous scars, painful reminders that brought everything flooding back.

He kept all of this to himself. He could never find the words to describe how violently the incident on the planet had stripped him of his defenses. He never found the right person to talk to, to have listen and understand that this incident had crippled him.

Zelenka, of all people, was the one who was there for him when he finally broke down. The Czech had entered the lab to find Rodney sitting in his seat staring at a dark corner on the far side of the room, his eyes wide and fearful, his mind somewhere else.

"McKay?" he asked as he approached him. "Rodney, are you alright?"

Rodney had snapped out of his trance with a start, turning quickly as if Radek had scared him.

"No," he said in a small voice. "I'm not."

He remained in his seat, staring at his hands as Radek quietly ushered out two technicians who were working in the background. He pulled a chair over and sat next to Rodney, never uttering a word.  
He sensed a peace from Radek, a will to help, to listen. He turned and looked at Zelenka, who cocked his head to the side and smiled.

"Why don't you tell me about it." He said, staring back with kind eyes.

Rodney realised that this man was the one person who would listen to him and not make fun of him. He realised that Radek genuinely wanted to help, not just seem to be helping to make himself feel good. He looked back to his hands and started to speak, aware that Zelenka continued to watch him closely. Once he had started, he found he could not stop speaking and everything poured from him.

He told Zelenka of every pain he had endured, every anguished moment he had lived on the planet. He spoke of the herbivorous Dust Dogs that had scared him witless, the look on John's face and the malice in his voice. He told him about the hallucinations, how they gave him hope only to crush it with reality. He told of the nightmares that had him screaming until he woke in a cold sweat. He spoke about John, and how he could hardly bear to look at him, how his body screamed at him to run and hide every time he caught a glimpse of him.

The little Czech listened to him silently, letting him pour out his anger and fear until he fell silent and could say no more.

"You have to talk to him, Rodney," Radek said when it was clear that McKay had finished.

"How can I speak to him when every nerve burns and every muscle twitches for me to get as far away as possible when I see him?" Rodney whispered, looking at the floor.

Zelenka raised his hand to scratch his head, but stopped when he noticed Rodney cringe away from him.

"Sorry," Rodney mumbled, embarrassed. "I can't help it."

His colleague shook his head and sighed. "I am sorry for what you went through, Rodney. I can not imagine just how terrifying it was. I am here for you. I will listen when you need it," Radek removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "But you need to speak to John. You can not move on until you do."

Rodney simply nodded his head, as Zelenka looked on with concern in his face.

"Yeah, well. I don't know when I will be able to move on, then."

Zelenka had made his way to the door when he heard the quiet voice.

"Thanks, Radek."

Rodney felt better for letting it all out, felt grateful to Zelenka for allowing him to do so. Thankful that he had at last been able to get the pain out. Now, he was tired. He was so exhausted that he was sure he would sleep the rest of the day away.  
As he made his way through the corridors towards his room, he still found himself flinching at noises and backing away from darkened areas.

_It will take time. Give yourself time._

He was almost there, relief washed over him when the door of his room came into sight along the corridor. Then he heard heavy footfalls behind him, a rhythmic limping sound to them, making his blood run cold.

"Rodney," the person hurried behind him.

He froze in his tracks as the voice scratched his nerves.

"Rodney, we need to talk."

"No, we don't," he said in a high-pitched voice, moving again, trying to get to his door quicker. Sweat was beading on his forehead, cold shivers dancing along his spine as the fear returned full force.

"Rodney!" John said leveling with him. He put a staying hand on Rodney's arm. Rodney flinched away from his touch, almost slamming himself into the wall in his attempt to get away from John's hand.

"Rodney," John said again in a low and pained voice, sorrow in his darkened eyes as he looked at his friend's fearful attempt to avoid him.

He was shocked at Rodney's appearance. He had lost so much weight, his bloodshot eyes dark and sunken in his pale face. His hair was a mess, his clothes untidy and he had a look of terror on his face that shook John and almost stopped his heart.  
He had put that terror there. He never thought he would ever be the reason for a look like that to be on Rodney's face. Shame and guilt washed over him like a dark wave of icy cold water.

The silence between them was deafening. John watched as Rodney scoured the area for a means of escape, his nails digging into the wall behind him.

"There is nothing I can say to ever make up for what I did," John started. "There is nothing I can do to change what happened. I would never intentionally hurt you, and it hurts like hell to know that I have."

Rodney seemed to calm a little, or at least he did not seem to be trying to get through the wall, anymore.

"I am sorry for what happened, I hope you realize that. I hope one day you can forgive me and we can be friends again," John walked away, shaking his head as remorse weighed on his pained body. The haunted look on Rodney's face would forever stay with him.

Rodney's mind was a whir of emotions. He did not know how to feel, how to react to what John had just said. His mouth opened and closed as his brain tried to work out how he felt.  
It struck him that John was not the evil thing that haunted his dreams. He was John Sheppard, his friend. It was the White Death that he was scared of and she could never hurt him again.

"John." He said quietly, but Sheppard heard and turned to look at him.

He walked closer to John, his fingers tracing the outline of the scar on one of his arms. He took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. He knew that Radek had been right, he had to speak to John or he would never move forward out of this hell.

"It…it…it was not your fault." Rodney said, wringing his hands in nervous distraction. "I…I know that. I just need…time."

John nodded, thankful for some interaction after weeks of nothing.

"OK, Rodney. No problem," he gave a half-hearted smile before turning and walking away again.

Rodney went into his room and sat on the bed. For the first time in what felt like ages, he did not scan the room on entering, checking the dark areas for imagined foes. As he sat there wiping the sweat from his brow, he realised something. He did feel better, those few words with John had started closing an emotional rip that he never thought would heal. He felt his fears falling from his mind, well some anyway. Radek had been right.  
He had made the first steps to climb out of hell and he decided to go further. Jumping to his feet he ran out of his room and up the corridor.

John carried on walking, he was not sure where he was going, only that he had to keep moving. He wanted to be alone so he avoided busy areas, ignoring people who said hi or looked at him. He kept up a fast pace, which made his healing leg burn with fire, his shoulder tugging with the increased speed, but he could not care less. The pain felt good, it was something that reminded him he was still human.  
He could hear someone running behind him, hoped it was no one wanting to speak to him as he did not think he could be civil at the moment.

"Eh, John?" He stopped walking, turning his head to the side to listen. Rodney cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"You…you wouldn't like to…to, uh, go to the mess, would you? Um, maybe get something to eat?"

John turned to face Rodney, with a look and sigh of relief. He suddenly felt his dark mood lift and he smiled at his friend.

"Sure. Why not."

As they walked side by side, they could feel the strain of the past weeks ebb away. Their relationship would take time to rebuild, but the friendship and the trust would eventually return.

While they made their way to the mess hall, Rodney smiled for the first time in what felt like forever.

He would get through this.

---

End.

_A/N I really hope you enjoyed this, and thank you again for all the comments!_


End file.
